I am afraid of love
It haunts me in my dreams
And throws scorn before me
As I walk to work.
It pierces my heart
And I bleed
On the carpet.
A red stain spreads
I can’t get it out
I don’t want to see it
Its brightness hurts my eyes
Piercing them
Scarlet darts bursting
Through my eyeballs
It hurts, it hurts
Cover it with a rug
Forget it’s there
But the blood seeps through.
Stained rug
Throw it out, throw it out.
I love the way this poem shows so well how we fixate on what we are afraid of, magnify it. I am sure these are the lines that lie between actions. That inertia. That failure to do. It´s funny, it´s a self torment. It´s maybe a choice to be this way. But I imagine, the pain is real and paralysing, and doesn´t feel like a choice at all.
ReplyDeleteI´m interested that it is you bleeding onto the carpet and that you are covering up your own blood, avoiding its ¨brightness¨.
Are you, or the person in this poem afraid of loving yourself / themself?
The blood could be as a result of the hurt caused from past loves but it may also be a new relationship that has the potential of changing from a friendship to something a little more than that but the person is reluctant to make any move because to past experiences.
ReplyDeleteThe desire to cover up the blood could be as a result of the anxiety of wanting to be loved but being held back by the fear of being hurt again. The person cannot bear to go through all the emotional upheavals of a broken heart so they are not willing to give this new love a chance.
Hey incy,
ReplyDeleteI´d love to read a sequel to this poem, or the perspective of the person who is the object of this conflicted emotion.
Will it be a happy ending???